Love this so much. I may be a mom, but I don't identify as a "mommy" and I'm finding myself chasing that secret third thing too these days. This -- "some mix of time, relationships, storytelling, nature, and rest" -- feels spot on. Excellent, as always.
I agree with Nikki Summer, I don’t identify as “Mommy” either and I also find your quest for the secret thing very relatable. I came to think of “A Room of One’s Own” by Virginia Woolf.
Unfortunately, I don’t think those men’s impertinent comments on whether you should have a child has much to do with their love for their own children. It has to do with something else, and there’s something about this discussion that, unsurprisingly, reminds me about the abortion debate. When is it OK for a woman to have an abortion? When she’s been the victim of rape, incest, when her life is in danger.. of perhaps just when she decides it’s the right thing to do?
Yes! Such a great parallel Lotta, I totally agree they are related and similar in that any decision a woman makes is the right one. And totally re "mommy" - it's so reductive and inaccurate!
LOVE. The notion that we spend so much time and energy "checking boxes" that we think we should...and then the realization that the validation those boxes once granted has hollowed out. I chose motherhood three times over, and while it has shaped and fulfilled me in many ways, I still reach for that "third thing" in my middle years. My priorities have shifted along with my need for external approval.
Love this so much. I may be a mom, but I don't identify as a "mommy" and I'm finding myself chasing that secret third thing too these days. This -- "some mix of time, relationships, storytelling, nature, and rest" -- feels spot on. Excellent, as always.
Yess thank you Nikki!! Glad it hit a chord <3
"Which has taken about 40 years to access" - YES. Very much feel you on all this.
Yayy yes, truly!! It takes so long :)
Yes!! And I toggle between asking “why??” and being grateful it ever became accessible at all
I agree with Nikki Summer, I don’t identify as “Mommy” either and I also find your quest for the secret thing very relatable. I came to think of “A Room of One’s Own” by Virginia Woolf.
Unfortunately, I don’t think those men’s impertinent comments on whether you should have a child has much to do with their love for their own children. It has to do with something else, and there’s something about this discussion that, unsurprisingly, reminds me about the abortion debate. When is it OK for a woman to have an abortion? When she’s been the victim of rape, incest, when her life is in danger.. of perhaps just when she decides it’s the right thing to do?
Omg also Happy birthday!!! (just saw on FB) <3 <3
Yes! Such a great parallel Lotta, I totally agree they are related and similar in that any decision a woman makes is the right one. And totally re "mommy" - it's so reductive and inaccurate!
Isn't this called "Retirement"?! LOL
Haha there is some working in there too but basically yes lol :)
I love the messages here and relate SO MUCH, especially right now. Brilliant work, tapping into these subtle but important realities, as always!
Aww thanks Rumana!! Means a lot!! xx
LOVE. The notion that we spend so much time and energy "checking boxes" that we think we should...and then the realization that the validation those boxes once granted has hollowed out. I chose motherhood three times over, and while it has shaped and fulfilled me in many ways, I still reach for that "third thing" in my middle years. My priorities have shifted along with my need for external approval.